Livestock Jokes

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township
Road?" The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 123 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"
The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said: "Holy more...

One day, farmer Brown was in town picking up some supplies. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a goose and a couple of chickens. Now, however, he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said, "Why not put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Good thinking. Thanks," the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking, he met a lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1725 Willoughby Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1835 Willoughby Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.
The lady replied, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, more...

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a fair young lady with rather large beautiful breasts. She told him she was lost, and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there". The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won't hold me up against more...

A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They enter the tent that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bulls stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 70 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 70 times last year, that's almost 6 times a month. You could learn a thing or two from this one!" They carry on to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth gapes open and says, "WOW! he mated 365 times last year, that's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one." The fed up man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and enquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

Ralph takes his wife, Mildred, to the livestock show. As they walk past the pens
holding the bulls, Mildred notices a sign by the first bull stating: "This bull
mated 50 times last year."
Mildred turns to her husband and says, "You could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign states: "This bull mated 100 times
last year."
Mildred turns to Ralph and says, "This one mated twice a week! You can learn
from this bull, also."
They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times
last year."
The Mildred's mouth drops open and exclaims, "Wow! He mated every single day of
the year! You could really learn a lot from this bull."
Ralph turns to Mildred and smiles, "I doubt if he mated 365 times with the same
old cow."