Alley Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young
trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They
parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to
the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen
window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger
coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove
that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that
last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped
and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two men from the gas
company running as hard as you two were, I figured,
'HOLY MOLY! I'M OUTTA HERE!!"

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a fair young lady with rather large beautiful breasts. She told him she was lost, and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there". The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won't hold me up against more...

Things to do at a Bowling Alley Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire. Wear Golf Shoes. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices. Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling. Play bocci with extra lane balls Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting... fish. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off. more...

On Halloween, a taxi-driver saw a nun standing at the side of the road. He pulled over, and asked if he could help her. The nun said she needed to get to the mission. The taxi-driver said "I'll give you a ride for free tonight, because you don't know what kind of crazy people are running around." The nun agreed, thanked him, and they drove off. When they were about half-way there, the taxi-driver said to the nun "You know sister, I've always had this fanasy about being kissed by a nun." The nun said "Well, you've been so kind to me, I could do that, but only on three conditions. You have to be Catholic, single, and it can't be in public." The taxi-driver thought about this for a minute, then asked if an alley would work. The nun said that would be fine, so he pulled into the nearest alley. The nun crawled into the front seat and gave him a long, passionate kiss. After this, the taxi-driver smiled and drove on. A few minutes later, his smile turned to a more...

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.
The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."

The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire."

The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?"
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on more...

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and
came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My son, you
shouldn't be doing that", said the priest. "You should be saving
that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply
said "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young
man, in his early twenties came in.
"Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago
you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget
the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I
should be saving it for when I get married", said the young
man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said" said
the priest. "Did you take my more...

One night, a cabby picked up a nun. While he was driving, the cabby suddenly started to laugh insanely.
"Why are you laughing?" Asked the nun.
"Oh, It's nothing." said the cabby.
"No, really." said the nun "I won't mind."
So the Cabby told her:
"Well, It's really silly but I've always had this fantasy of having a blow job done by a nun."
"Well then, whats your name?" The nun asked
"Robert"
"Are you married?"
"No."
"Are you christian?"
"Yes."
"Then Pull into the next alley."
The cabby was stunned. but he didn't want to give up this chance so he pulled into the next alley. When they were finished, they returned to the cab.
While driving, the cabby started to cry.
"Why are you crying?" asked the nun
"I'm sorry, I've lied."
"How so?"
"Well, My name is David, I have more...