Allied Jokes / Recent Jokes

A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kills they have so far to keep up courage on their route through the rubbled buildings. Sergeant Joe thumps his chest and proclaims. "I got me 4 germans bagged so far. Howabout you John?" Before Pfc John can reply, a lone german soldier runs out of a trashed hotel. In the process of throwing down his rifle after seeing the larger allied soldier group, he shouts "NEIN!" Pfc John takes aim at the enemy and shoots him. "Well, he wont get himself a tenth allied soldier." Joe all year long!

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has
been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German
"airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made almost
entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun
emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.

The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied
photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.

The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last
wooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed
the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a
large wooden bomb.

Knock Knock Who's there? Albee! Albee! Albee a monkey's uncle! Knock Knock Who's there? Albert! Albert who! Albert you don't know who this is! Knock Knock Who's there? Alison! Alison who? Alison it's dark outside! Knock Knock Who's there? Alli! Alli who? Alligator, that's who! Knock Knock Who's there? Allied! Allied who? Allied, so sue me!

An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German “airfield, ” constructed with meticulous care, was made almost entirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.
The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.
The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last wooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped a large wooden bomb.

Excerpted from the book, Masquerade: The Amazing Camouflage Deceptions of World War II, by Seymour Reit; Signet, 1980.


Another enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that has been told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German "airfield," constructed with meticulous care, was made
almost entirely of wood.

There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gun emplacements, trucks, and aircraft.

The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Allied photo experts had more than enough time to observe and report it.

The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the last wooden plank. And early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossed the Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and
dropped a large wooden bomb.

The footnote for this is: Several versions of this anecdote exist, the most reliable of which can be found in Major M. E. DeLonge's "Modern more...