Alligator Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young Antartian, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes
but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the Antartian standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Oh, no!" the Antartian shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price! ” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one! ” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper more...

A blonde was out shopping in Lousiana when she saw a beautiful pair of shoes made from genuine alligator skin. She goes into the store and asks the price. The shopkeeper says, "$1000"
The blonde not having that kind of money tried to haggle with the store's owner, until the owner finally got fed up and threw her out of his store.
The blonde furious yells at the store owner, "FINE! KEEP YOUR DAMN SHOES! I'LL GO HUNT MY OWN ALLIGATOR AND THEN GET MY OWN SHOES FOR A FAIR PRICE!!!"
Driving home the store owner sees the blonde in a local swamp, up to her waist in the muddy waters holding a double-barrel shotgun. Just then he sees the blonde take aim at a nearby alligator taking a nap and shoots it straight in the gut. With great effort he watches her drag the alligator to the shore, where to his suprise, a half dozen more alligators all lay dead. He then sees the blonde flip the alligator over onto his back. Then watching, he sees the blondes face turn a more...

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it forGrammas kitchen. "Well now, wheres my bucket and wheres my water?" Gramma asked him. "I cant get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "Theres a BIG ol alligator down there!""Now dont you mind that ol alligator, Johnny. Hes been there for a few years now, and hes never hurt no one. Why, hes probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if hes as scared of me as I am of him, then that water aint fit to drink!"

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over more...

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar.
He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the alligator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I'll remove my genitals unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The alligator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The alligator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush more...

Alligator
One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma's kitchen.
"Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Grandma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, Grandma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"