Allowance Jokes

Little Johnny's mother took him to a supermarket to buy some food.
"Anything you break comes out of your allowance money!" shouted Johnny's mother.
Johnny turned around and said "But you don't give me any allowance money!"
"Yes, and now you know why."

Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house.They both decided it was time to get married.So Little Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage."Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this was cute."Well," said Little Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us.""And how will you live?""I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance.That should be enough."Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers, Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?""Well," said Little Johnny, "we've been lucky so far!"

New York Governor James Patterson is debating wether or not to cut state prisoners bread allowance down from twelve slices a day. Twelve slices of bread for prisoners? Thats enough bread to kill Mama Kass six times.

Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house. They both decided it was time to get married. So Little Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage." Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this was cute." Well," said Little Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us." "And how will you live?" "I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance. That should be enough." Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers, Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?" "Well," said Little Johnny, "we've been lucky so far!"

The following are actual questions written to pastors from children across the world.

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, more...