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Back in November, the Huffington Post reported that Sarah Palin could get $7 Million Dollars to write a book.
Skipping the obligiatory Write-a-book?-I-didn't-even-know-she-could-read comment, I do wanna say that I think this is pretty short-sighted. I don't care about Sarah Palin's story, because we already know it. I'm tired of her story already, and I have no interest in hearing it in her own voice. It'd probably sound a lot like Huckleberry Finn - except with twice the tits, three times the racism and none of the biting social commentary.
No...Sarah Palin's isn't the story to be published. Bristol's is. Bristol's the one with the story - especially after her interview on Fox News.
It's the classic narrative, and it's one that every woman can resonate with even more so than Mrs. Golly G. Shoot-a-Moose over there.
How My Mother and a Boy F*cked Up My Life - By Bristol Harley Davidson Palin.
If you think Oprah won't fall over herself to endorse that, then I've got more...

1. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Verklemmt". 2. When you fill up your "C-drive", you will get a "Hard Drive is Schtopped" message. 3. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Draydles". 4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. 5. CD-ROM's would be rendered obsolete with the invention of high compression DVB's (digital video bagels). 6. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button. 7. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!". 8. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's toukhes" 9. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!" 10. During Passover, your PC would more...

With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company's 1997 cars. "Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost 1997 sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXI in New Orleans. Or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline." Though it does not officially begin until Jan. 1, 1997, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive. "As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself,' Oh, boy, this could be it--I could be a big winner!'" said more...

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous mother. Things I've learned from my children (honest no kidding): 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the more...

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian
scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Sri Lankan press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Sri Lankan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male
side. if you have already read some of these before it wont hurt to read them again.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,
you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect
present yet again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of
the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and
by then you're stuck with her.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear more...

Microsoft files trademark infringement lawsuit
REDMOND, WA (APR. 27) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced today that they have filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against Kimberly-Clark Paper Company. The lawsuit claims that Kimberly-Clark has knowingly violated trademark laws in their introduction of Windows TP line of paper products.
The lawsuit names four separate products from Kimberly-Clark: The Windows TP Quilted for home use and the discerning business, The Windows TP Non-Quilted quality bargain brand for general business and office use, The Windows TP "Floppy" Roughness for extended shelf life, and the Windows TP "CD-ROM" Recycled Waterproof Roughness for schools and backpackers.
Kimberly-Clark has acknowledged the lawsuit. In a written statement to the press, a spokesperson for Kimberly-Clark said, "Our product and computer software are unrelated. While it may be said that both Microsoft's product and ours have similar uses, we more...