Amazing Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

It's amazing how your kids stop coming back home once they get their own washer and dryer.

A guy goes to the movies one day, and in the front row there's an old man. With him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of film. You know the type. In the sad part the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part the dog laughed his head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended the guy decides to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," he said. "Your dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned. "Yeah, it really is amazing, because he hated the book."

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, and without warning. In one case, a house was completely whisked away, leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor. The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the most amazing thing. .. it was the most amazing thing." she kept repeating dazedly. "What was the most amazing thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers. "I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and dog-gone-it if the whole house didn't suddenly drain away."

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

"It`s a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?"

"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the more...

Amazing Geanie
This man walks into a bar with an old shopping bag in hand. He sets the bag on top of the bar and
pulls up his stool. The bartender comes over and asks what he'll have to swill. As he states his
preference, something in the bag is moving around shaking the paper bag. The bartender gives a
puzzled look but proceeds to the tap. As he's filling the mug, he looks at the bag again and sees that
something is still moving around in the bag. He brings the beer over and places it in front of the man.
His curiosity gets the best of him and he asks the man what he's got in the bag. The man reaches
into the bag and pulls out a little piano and sets it on the bar... the bartender looks intently at the
piano as the man again reaches into the bag... pulling out a small piano bench. He places the bench
in front of the piano and again reaches into the bag pulling out a foot tall man. The man sits at the
piano and begins playing.
The more...