America Jokes / Recent Jokes
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian.
When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
One day a small boy asked his grandma "Where the
America is?" The grandma said "I don't know
please search where you lost it."
Once An American Called Santa To America. When Santa Arrived At America, The American Took Him To A Deep Jungle. They Both Dug 200m Below The Ground. They Found A Wire. American: See, Our Ancient People Also Used Telephones. Santa Felt Bad So He Called The American To India. When The American Arrived, They Both Went To The Jungle. They Dug 500m Below The Ground But Found No Wire. Santa: Our Ancient People Used Cellphones!!
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears and took pity on her.
"Look, you've got a lot to live for." he said. "I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded. After all, what did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the more...
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby."Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an
American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa!"
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch more...
An american born Desi returned to India and hired a tourist cab for sight seeing. When taken to the Taj Mahal in Agra, he asked how many years it took to build it. The guide replied 20 years. The American desi remarked You guys are lazy, in America we can build some thing like this in 5 years. At Red Fort in Dehli he asked the same question. The guide reduced the period to impress him and said Ten years. Only ten years The American Desi retorted: Didn't I say you guys are slow workers! In America we could have built it in 2 1/2 years. Same story everywhere. He admired the places but reduced the period to 1/4th. The guide got irritated by this young American Desi. Next day when they were near Qutab Minar the American Desi asked what is that tower? The guide replied I ‘ll have to go and find out. When I was passing by this side last evening there was nothing here.
The Canadian government is going to help America with the war on terrorism. They have pledged 2 of their biggest battle ships, 6000 ground troops and 6 fighter jets.
Unfortunately, after the exchange rate conversion, we
ended up with 2 canoes, 1 Mountie, and some flying
squirrels.