Among Jokes / Recent Jokes

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he senthis wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reasonfor his haste he shivered and replied: "Im afraid that if I shouldever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try torepossess me."

Once South Asian Countries had called a meeting in Nepal. Organizer of the meeting had invited two people from each country. One was a man and other one was a woman. From Sri-Lanka, Jeyawardene and Srimavo had gone to the meeting to represent Sri-Lanka. Last day of the meeting the organizer planned to have a competition among the people. So, he announced whose dick would lift the maximum weight. Everyone was did the best they can. Jeyawardene was very old man among the representatives he couldn't even turn on his dick. Srimavo realised Jeyawardene's terrible situation and she wanted to help Jeyawardene. Suddenly Srimavo lift her skirt up and Jeyawardene saw her pussy and the weight in the string went up. Jeyawardene got the prize in the competition.

Extracted from US news papers:
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Sherri Lynn Rossi was hit in the head more than 20 times with a blunt object and left covered in
blood and in a coma on the side of a road, according to doctors in Pittsburgh in June. When she came
out of the coma, she identified her attacker as her husband, Richard A. Rossi Jr., pastor of the
local, independent, charismatic First Love Church. Richard Rossi denied the charge, insisting that
the hijacker must have been a man who looked like him and had a car like his, and that it was "very
possible, oh, yes" that his wife's attacker was Satan in human form. In October, Sherri Lynn Rossi
abruptly withdrew her accusation, and concurred that her attacker might have been a demon in human
form.
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New York city police arrested the city's most notorious traffic scofflaw, Leroy Linen, 41, in
November. He had inadvertently given them his real name more...

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her
husband in bed with a young lovely thing. Just as she was about to
storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.
Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about. Driving
along the highway, I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled,
so I offered her a lift. She was hungry, so I brought her home and made
a meal from the roast you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had
only some worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you
discarded because they were out of style. She was cold, so I gave her
the sweater I bought you for your birthday - the one you never wore
because the colours didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I
gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for
you now. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and
asked;
"Is there anything else that more...

Chicago (AP) -The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls.

"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. "What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you Tiger Woods; what would your daddy say?"

Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women.

Sharpton also more...

Mughal emperors were sticklers about court etiquette. Places were assigned to courtiers according to rank and none besides princes of royal blood allowed a seat. When ordered to approach the throne, the first step forward had to be taken with the right foot and the person had to stop at a prescribed distance from the monarch. Even close relatives had to observe these rules.
Badauni records a transgression of etiquette by the daughty Bairam Khan, the seniormost of courtiers, while attending on Humayun. The emperor was being longwinded in his speech and the aged courtier, who was overcome with drowsiness, became inattentive. Humanyun spoke sharply,' Bairam Khan! We are speaking to you and you seem not to be listening to us.'
The old man roused himself and replied,' Yes, your Majesty, I am all ears. I am told that in the service of kings, watch should be kept over the eyes; among dervishes watch should be kept over the heart; and among men of learning, watch should be kept over more...

A Night Before Christmas Parody (Technical Version)'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Musmusculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion more...