Among Jokes / Recent Jokes

The 10 commandments
The Hebrew people were sitting around Mt. Sinai. You could hear only a subdued murmur among them, but you could feel the tension in the air. For hours now, Moses had been on top of the mountain, hidden from their gaze by clouds wafting around its top. Sometimes the clouds became dark and you could hear thunder rolling down. In spite of the warm weather this always caused a shudder among the waiting mass.
The end of day was approaching and dusk was beginning to set in when suddenly a figure came through the clouds and walked down the steep mountainside carrying a heavy load. It was Moses.
Moses set down his load and raised his hands. "Friends," he said, "friends, it was hard work and I have done my best. I have negotiated with Him. I used every possible argument, every trick I could think of--and I think I was successful. The good news is: I brought him down from fifteen to ten. The bad news is: Adultery is still in."

A Night Before Christmas Parody (Technical Version)

' Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Musmusculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.

My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal more...

1. Binglish (for Bombay_English).

2. Bhindi (for Bombay_Hindi)

3. This list is perpetually incomplete since the evolution of this language can never possibly cease.

4. Bhindi/Binglish: Pronunciations are in brackets following the words.

5. Chikna - Stands for any good looking fellow. Chikna actually means smooth.

6. Keeda - An absolute pest.

7. Jhakaas - Superb. Excellent.

8. Haila! - This originated from "Hai Allah! " but I don't think 99% of the users know about this. Haila would translate to "Oh God!"

9. ChappanTikkli/Punter/Tapori/Shana - Roadside loafer. Tapori is among the most commonly used words in Bhindi.

10. Bevada / Gutter / Taankee / Batli / JohnnyWalker - A Drunk.

11. Saand - A boisterous or an exceeding brash guy.

12. Chotay - For any kid working in a Tapri. If the shop has more than one kid all would have to be more...

The Court of King George III London, England

July 10, 1776

Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Dear Mr. Jefferson,

We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement. The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:

1. In your opening paragraph you use the phrase the "Laws of Nature and Nature`s God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature.

2. In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." more...