Amputated Jokes

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so he the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that they would drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did. Then next week they amputated his other arm and he asked for the same thing. So the Germans did. The next week they amputated his leg and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England. The German doctor replied, "Nein, Ve do dis no more!" The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "Ve tink you trying to escape!" Aviation
Revenge "Dying Husband: Kethrine, please marry Peter after my death.
Wife: Why?
Husband: Because i want to take revenge from him.

A man goes to the doctor and says that he is worried because one of his testicles has turned blue. the doctor examins this and decides the only way to help would be to have the testicle amputated. The man decides to go through with the operation. The next week the man comes back and says his other testicle has turned blue, and once again the doctor recomends that the testicle should be removed. The following week the man comes back again and says his penis has turned blue also. After alot of arguing the man decides that the doctor is right and he should have his penis amputated. The week after the man has had a plastic tube inserted in place of his penis he comes back and says "
Doc, now I'm really worried. My tube has turned blue"
The doctor examins this and says to the man "
I'm sorry sir but I think the problem is the blue dye in your jeans."

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: We amputated the wrong leg.

Patient: What is the good news?

Doctor: Your other leg won't need to be amputated after all.

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are bulging and his ears are protruding. He becomes very concerned, so he goes to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor told him that he has a rare disease that will require him to take this medication for several months to clear up the disease; however the medication will make his hair fall out permanently.
Several months later the guy's eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding - more so now that his hair is gone, so this time he goes to a different doctor who informs him that he has a prostate problem and that they will have to remove his testicles. The guy has the surgery only to find his eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding.
Determined to find out what is wrong with him, he goes to another doctor who tells him that the nerves in his hands are pinching the nerve endings in his ears and his eyes and the only way to resolve the problem is to have his more...

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are bulging and his ears are protruding. He becomes very concerned. So he goes to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor told him that he has a rare disease that will require him to take this medication for several months to clear up the disease, however the medication will make his hair fall out permanently. Several months later the guy's eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding - moreso now that his hair is gone. So this time he goes to a different doctor who informs him that he has a prostrate problem and that they will have to remove his testicles. So the guy has the surgery only to find out months later, his eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding. Determined to find out what is wrong with him he goes to another doctor who tells him that the nerves in his hands are pinching the nerve endings in his ears and his eyes and the only way to resolve the problem is to more...