Anniversary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Looking for a good place to party on Halloween? Check out these houses!
Bloomington, Indiana
Name: Indiana University
Location: unknown
This building, now used for administrative purposes, was once a stop on the "Underground Railroad". Today, there are many reports of African spiritual songs emanating from the basement.
Elletsville, Indiana
Name: Stepp Cemetery
Location: Morgan-Monroe forest
In this cemetery that is only accessible by foot, during midnight, an apparition of a lady appears on a rock that resembles a chair. On Halloween, many cult groups venture to this place to conduct ceremonies.
Evansville, Indiana
Name: The Gray Lady
Location: Willard Library - First Ave.
When this building was an abandoned train station, many drifters and hobos used it for shelter. During that time, a woman was murdered on the premises, and it is said that she still haunts the building. Her presence is most often felt in the children's more...

A very old couple booked a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th marriage anniversary.

The bellboy while taking their luggage to the suite thinks to himself, "At this age they are booking a suite. What a waste."

After leaving them in their room with a very heavy tip he decides to spy on them. At night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. And what does he hear? Laughing and clapping sounds from their room. All night long he could not believe his ears. In the morning he apologized to the husband for having spied on them, but being very inquisitive he asks him how can he do what he did at this age.

The husband replied, "See it is this way. First I remove my clothes. Then I lie down on the bed face up. Then my wife removes her clothes.

Then the bellboy leans into the old man and says, "Then WHAT?"

The old husband smiles and says, "Then my wife lifts up my penis with one hand, more...

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2: Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven’t noticed.

Day 3: This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4: A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his ‘problem. ’ It’s called Viagra I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5: What absolute bliss!!.

Day 6: Isn’t life wonderful but it’s difficult to write while he’s more...

A golfer was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him; "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Name of intended recipient..................................................

Name of applicant..........................................

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Applicant's Relationship to Intended Recipient

Husband ( ) Wife ( ) Acquaintance ( )
Fiancee ( ) Boyfriend ( ) Family pet ( )
Friend ( ) Girlfriend ( ) Mother-in-law ( )

(Tick appropriate box)

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My reason/s for this application is/are

Marriage ( ) Practice ( )
Birthday ( ) Health ( )
Pre-marital check ( ) Aids test ( )
Annual target ( ) Anniversary ( )
No cable television ( ) Prevent healing up ( )

Other reason/s.............................................

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Type Required

Fast ( ) Slow ( ) Long ( ) Short ( ) Multiple more...

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

"Wasn't yesterday your and your wife's first wedding anniversary? What is it like having being married to a mathematician for a whole year?"
"She just filed for divorce..."
"I don't believe it! Did you forget about your wedding day?"
"No. Actually, on my way back home from work, I stopped at a flower store and bought a bouquet of red roses for my wife. When I came home, I gave her the roses and said: `I love you.'"
"So, what happened?!"
"Well, she took the roses, slapped them around my face, kicked me in the groin, and threw me out of our apartment..."
"What a bitch!"
"No, no... it's all my fault... I should have said: `I love you and only you.'."