Anniversary Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday.

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

A man and his wife were at the breakfast table when he suddenly remembered that it was their 50th Anniversary.
"Guess what, darling," he said, "Fifty years ago today you and I were wed."
"And we ate our first honeymoon breakfast at this very table," she said.
"We were naked as jaybirds, remember?" he blushed. "Oh yes," she giggled, 'Why don't we take off our clothes right now?" "All right."
They stripped to the buff and stared at one another across the table.
"Oooh, darling," she said, "My nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago."
"No wonder," he said, "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

A man and his wife were at the breakfast table when he suddenly remembered that it was their 50th Anniversary."Guess what, darling," he said, "Fifty years ago today you and I were wed.""And we ate our first honeymoon breakfast at this very table," she said."We were naked as jaybirds, remember?" he blushed. "Oh yes," she giggled, 'Why don't we take off our clothes right now?" "All right."They stripped to the buff and stared at one another across the table."Oooh, darling," she said, "My nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago.""No wonder," he said, "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "For our anniversary this year, you can ask me one question, any question you want too! and I will answer it truthfully."
The husband replies, "Okay, this has been bothering me for a long time, but I haven't had the courage to ask before... I have noticed that all of our eight children look similar to one another except one. I can't figure out how he got to look so different. Did he have a different father than the rest?"
The wife stops. She is unable to look her husband in the eyes. Slowly she replies, "Yes, he did have a different father."
Her husband was taken aback. "Oh! Okay... I must know. Please tell me. Who was that child's father?"
Again she cannot look her husband in the eyes. She is very distressed and after a long silence she slowly said, "YOU".

What women want in a relationship: A handsome, loving professionalman who will just love them for who they are.What women get: A fat, balding fart machine who stays with them onlybecause no other woman wants him.What men want in a woman: A combination of Carol Brady and Pamela LeeAnderson; Wonderful Mom with big hooters and can suck the chrome offa flag pole.What men get: Someone who immediately begins to gain those 80 extralbs the moment after she says "I Do", beginning with the wedding cake! What women want in bed: A passionate lover who takes the time to kissand gently caress, slowly building up to a wonderful joyous experiencetogether.What they get: "Wham-Bam-Thank-You Ma'am!", Belch, Fart, ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzWhat men expect out of a marriage: 3 loving children who honor theirparents.What they get: 3 helions who are a combination of their parents everyfault and make their life a living hell.1st anniversary card from husband to wife: "My sweet loving more...

A couple was about to celebrate 50 years together.
Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy, agreed to a Sunday dinner in honour of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had varied excuses.
"Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry, I'm running late... I just didn't have the time to get you a present."
"No worry," said Dad. "The important thing is that we're all together."
Son number two arrived and announced, "Just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you anything... I'm sorry."
"It's nothing," said the father, "just glad you could be here today."
The daughter arrived. "Happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but I've been out of town and didn't bring a present."
Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today."
Later, during dinner, the father put down his fork, looked up and said, more...