Fiftieth Jokes

To celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, a couple returned to their honeymoon hotel. After retiring to bed, the wife said, "Darling, do you remember how you stroked my hair?" and so he stroked her hair. She reminded him of the way they had cuddled, and so they did. Then, with a sigh, she whispered, "Won`t you nibble my ear again?"
With that, the husband got out of bed and left the room. "Where are you going?" cried the wife.
"To get my teeth," he said.

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days."Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?""Yup, we sure are," Roy replied."Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her."

Childhood sweethearts, a couple celebrating their fiftieth anniversary stroll down to their old school and find the desk they'd shared where he had carved, "1 love you Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money falls from a passing armoured car. They find $50, 000 in the bag. He says, "We must give it back." She says, "Finders keepers." Later that day, police ask them if they know anything about the missing money. She says, "No." He says, "She's lying. She hid it in the attic." She says, "He's getting senile." One officer asks him to tell the story from the beginning. He says, "Sally and 1 were walking home from school..." The officer says to his partner, "Come on we are wasting our time here!"

On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all thatexpensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into theempty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. He screamed to his wife, "Linda-Sue, you NASTY BITCH, you DIDN'T?!?"

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days."
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?"
"Yup, we sure are," Roy replied.
"Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I'll go down there and get her."