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Malik returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father. Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Pakistani?
No son, that`s because you are intelligent. Malik seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Pakistani? No son, that`s because you are intelligent, replies his father. Happy with the answer, Malik poses another question to his father, Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Pakistani? The father replies, No son, that`s because you are 31 years old.

This is a stairy fory.
Tonce upon a wime there was a gritty little pearl named Prinderella. She lived with her two sisty uglers and her nicked wepstother. She weaned the clindows, flubbed the scores and did all the wirty durk, which was a shirty dame.
Don way the Cince issued a cropplamation that all geligable lung yadies should attend a drancy fess bistmas crawl.
Now poor Prinderella didn't have a drancy fess; all she had was a rirty dag.
Then, along came her gairy fedmother and in the eyeling of a twink she turned her rirty dag into a drancy fess.
So, Prinderella bent to the wall and pranced and pranced with the Cince. But, on the moke of stridnight she ran down the stalace peps and on the stottom bep slopped a dripper; which was, of course, another shirty dame.
The dext nay, the Cince issued another croplamation, that all geligable lung yadies who had attended the drancy fess ball, should sly on the tripper.
When the sisty uglers slied on the more...

In March, 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.In April he received another bill and threw that one away too. The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0.00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest more...

Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result, Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen... Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really more...

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there’s a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom “I’m sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We’ll be delayed 45 minutes. ”
Suddenly there’s another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they’ll be delayed two hours.
Shortly thereafter, there is another bang and the pilot announces that they’ll be delayed 3 hours. The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we’ll be up here all day. ”

Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough they were.
The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times." And with that he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them just for the fun of it."
And with that he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to f@ck the cat."

There were three guys hitchiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over anywhere. Fortunately, they saw about a mile ahead of them a cow ranch, filled with hundreds of cows. They decided to stay there for the night. So they looked for the main office to ask the ranch owner if they could stay for the night. However, the ranch owner left for the day and no one was there. Too tired from their journey, they decided rather to sleep with the cows than walk forever. They each slept under a cow.
One guy said, "I'm hungry and thirsty, what will we eat and drink?"
Another guy suggested to drink the milk from the cow since they were lying beneath the milk sac. So they began to suck and drink.
The first guy said, "My cow's milk is so good, I finished it all and now I'm full."
The second guy said, "My cow's more...