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This is the story of two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community
supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will
you marry me?" After about six seconds of' careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more
pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say' yes' or did she say' no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he
gained a more...

Two drummers and a violinist decide to form a band. The three of them start playing, and the sound is just awful. One drummer turns to the other and says, "We sound terrible. I don't think this is going to work. Let's get rid of the violinist."

This trumpet player was on the phone with his agent. He was concerned that he didn't have a gig in a while. His agent tells him; "Listen, there aren't any gigs out there, but I found you something. I got you a gig bagging lions."

To which the trumpet player says, "What does that have to do with my playing. The agent then says "Look, the gig pays 100. 00 for each lion that you bag, don't worry about playing"

. At this point the trumpet player will take anything so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. He notices a lion coming toward him and the only thing that he could think of doing is more...

A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded. "Professors haven't got bad memories," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?" "Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?" "Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."

A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses.
The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of whiskey, took a long draught, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair.
The Californian looked at the Texan and said, "What are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!! The Texan replied, "In Texas, there`s plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap.
A while later, not wanted to be outdone, the Californian pulled out a bottle of champagne, took a few sips, threw the half full champagne bottle into the air, pulled out his gun, and shot it in midair.
The Nevadan couldn`t believe this and said "What the heck did you that for? That was an expensive bottle of champagne!! The Californian replied, "In California there is plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap."
A while later, the Nevadan pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He opened it, took a more...

A proton walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. After finishing the drink, the bartender says, "Would you like another drink?".

The proton says, "No, thanks."

A few minutes later, the bartender approaches the proton again and says, "Are you sure you don't want another drink?"

To which the proton says, "I'm positive."

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Editor's note: Yeah, it's a dumb science joke. Sorry about that

One behaviorist to another after lovemaking:
"Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"

Los Angeles, Fri. In yet another Hollywood misrepresentation of Malaysia, a new movie about the world's most open black market, is being filmed. Jack Moore, an American on holiday with two friends, discovered the real pleasures of' Fascinating Malaysia'. A land where thousands and thousands of movies are available on VCD for only US$1. 50 per title. After stocking up their backpacks with tons of contraband VCDs, Jack was left with the task of packing the stuff and mailing it back home. In an unexpected plot twist, his two friends returned to the US, while Jack stayed behind to tour the rest of Bangsar. Unfortunately for him, the authorities raided his room at Rumah Tumpangan Paris before the Postlaju pick-up arrived. Jack now faces the death penalty for possession of illegal VCDs. According to the script, a little known Malaysian law states that possession of more than 5 pirated copies of the same movie subjects the offender to capital punishment. An even lesser known part of the law more...