Ant Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call an ant in space? Cosmonants & Astronants!
Hickory Dickory Dock, An elephant ran up the clock, The clock is being repaired. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. Don't call an elephant, he may come! An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Damn", says the ant, "one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!" Tourist guide at zoo: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, the largest animal to roam the lands. Every day the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of bananas, 6 tons of hay, and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits. Madam, please don't stand near the elephant's backside.... Madam, PLEASE don't stand near the elephant's backside. .. MADAM. .. MADAM. .., too late; George, dig her out. Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants. It's done on a very high level. There's a lot of stomping and more...
What do you call an ant who lives with your great-uncle?
Your great-ant.
An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So the elephant says, "Help me, help me." But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked way with her. Replies the elephant, "Anything! Anything!" So, out comes the thorn and up gets the ant and proceeds to enjoy himself. Meanwhile, in a tree directly above them, a monkey, who witnessed the whole episode, was in knots of laughter. Consequently he fell out of the tree on top of the elephant. Says the elephant: "Ouch!" Says the ant, in his own little frenzy: "Suffer BITCH, SUFFER!!!"
Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they are full of antibodies!