Apart Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day at class, Mrs. Stryo has a storytelling contest. She tells the class that the boy or girl with the best story will get a bag of candy.
Jay, a clever boy, thinks of a story.
"One day, there is a storm." He begins. "Someone's house gets ripped apart by this storm, leaving furniture scattered on the ground."
"One old man survives this storm. He trys to rebuild the house that was torn apart."
"He almost suceeds. Three months later, after spending all of his money trying to rebuild the house, another storm comes and rips it apart again. Everything is scattered around again."
"So that man trys again to build a house. Six months later, he spends a further few hundred dollars building up his house. And again, another storm comes and rips up his house. Now he had a few hundred dollars in debt."
"After a few more trials, and increasing his debt to a few thousand bucks, he gives up. The next storm comes and more...

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10.I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.


Your Personality:

1. The whole thing:
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are to

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"
The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, more...

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours? Maria
Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Maria

it was the time when amrica had been found. The generals all were brave apart from one. His name was SIR. Dimgly. All the other generals had red uniform on apart from SIR.Dimgly...he had a brown uniform on...the others why he had is on. He told them that during the war if he pooed himslef no one wold notice.