Approach Jokes / Recent Jokes

If your favorite color is: RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should beware! YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire. PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, Purple more...

1 Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V. D. Clinic."

2 Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

3 Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

4 The rebuttal to a turn-down: Man: "Want to Dance?" Woman: "No thanks." Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."

5 Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

6 Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female impersonator."

7 Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you." Woman: (tries to ignore him) Man: more...

Get him laid. That's what he really needs. He will stop paying attention to you and pay attention to someone else.
Use the direct approach. When he comes in, say, "I'm doing homework now. Can I talk to you later?." If that's too polite, say "Go away now. I'm doing homework."
Use the "bad cat" approach. Purchase a high-powered squirt gun. Whenever he does something like that, say "I'm doing my homework. Anyone interrupting me will be wet." Then, blast away. He's been warned. I've discovered that this is an excellent way to keep my cat from scratching the furniture. I yelled at him and moved him until I realized that he was doing it for attention. After I squirted him three different times, he stopped permanently. Use a squirt bottle if the gun is too silly.
Buy a monster stereo and some tapes of the Sex Pistols, the Misfits, the BeeGees, and Barry Manilow. Turn it on and play it really loud when you don't want to be more...

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When more...

you go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Direct Marketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You approach her to get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Telemarketing.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. Your friend goes to her and says, "Hi, my friend over there is fantastic in bed, what about it?"
That's Advertising.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. You get up, straighten your clothes, approach her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after it drops, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.

You go to a party and see a sexy girl across the room. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear more...

1Pick-Up Rebuttal Humor
.) Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I was the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
2.) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place? " Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
3.) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants. " Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
4.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?" Woman: "No, thank you. "Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."
5.) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
6.) Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female more...

1.) Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I was the receptionist at the V. D. Clinic." 2.) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place? " Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" 3.) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants." Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there." 4.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy whoused to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused: Man: "Want to Dance?" Woman: "No, thank you." Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you." 5.) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." 6.) Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "Female impersonator." 7.) Man: "You know, I'd really more...