Arithmetic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"

"Somebody else''s pants."

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?" The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None -- how do you figure that?" The little boy says, "If I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmmmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!" The little boy then says, "Teacher, can I ask you a question? There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?" The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone." To which the little boy replies, "Actually, it's the one with more...

tom: why are you scratching your head?
harry: ive got those arithmetic bugs again
tom: arithmetic bugs-what are they
harry: well, some people call them head lice.
tom:then why do you call them arithmetic bugs?
harry: because they add to my misery, subtract from my pleasure, divide my attention and multiply like crazy

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny . So she said, "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?""Somebody else's pants." said the Little Johnny.