Sucking Jokes

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh. .. I know what you've been doing."

Lance Bass, when he came out, reassured us that he's a "straight-acting gay... normal guys, who like watching football and drinking beer."
And don't forget sucking cock, Lance. You can drink a keg of Old Milwaukee on the field in the middle of the Super Bowl, but once you're sucking cock, you're about as "straight-acting" as George Michael at a porn star pool party.

One day during class the teacher went around the class asking
her 5 year old kids questions. Finally, the teacher came up to
Little Johnny and said "if there are three birds on a park bench
and if I was to shoot one, how many birds would be left?".
Little Johnny thought about it for some time and said "none!". The
teacher asked him how he worked it out. Little Johnny said, "Well
if you shoot one the other birds will fly away!". The teacher said
that was not correct but she liked the way he thought!
When the teacher was about to leave, Little Johnny put up his hand
and said he had a question for her. "Fire away", said the teacher.
"Miss, if there are three women on a park bench all eating
ice-cream, one chewing it, one biting it and the other sucking it,
which of those women are married!".
The teacher uncomfortable with the question replied,"I'll have to
go with more...

The following is a true story.There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"
The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.
There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."
To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the more...