Arkansas Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in themiddle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in thedelivery.To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lanternand said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world."Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put thelantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come."Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass."No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.The Scot scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Doye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

A North Carolina man found a balloon with a note attached that Arkansas school children had released more than a month earlier.

The Arkansas public school kids were amazed, saying they never thought the balloon would make it all the way to France.

An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.

He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver asks, "'Bout what?"

What is the second stupidest thing in the world? An Arkansas architectural student out in the middle of the ocean trying to build a foundation for a house. What is the stupidest thing in the world? An Arkansas contractor trying to build a house on the foundation.

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office
to see one of his aides nervously approaching him.
"What is it?" the President yells..
"It's the abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asks..
"Just go ahead and pay it," responds the President.
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season.
The umpire walks up to the VIP section and says something..
Suddenly, Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the wall onto the field..
The stunned umpire shouts, "No, Mr. President! I said,
Throw the first PITCH!'"
Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's specials are chicken and fish..
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," Hillary says..
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks..
"Oh, he'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking more...

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw" A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.
Fayetteville It is illegal to kill "any living creature". Little Rock Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. It is unlawful to walk one`s cow down Main Street after 1: 00 PM on Sunday. No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9: 00 P. M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54

Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and
walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms..
At the bottom of the steps, he says to the honor
guardsman, "These are genuine Arkansas Razor-Back Hogs.
I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary."
The guardsman replies, "Nice trade, Sir."