Arkansas Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Theyve been having turkey for years.

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.

Editor's Note: Not really all humor, unless you consider grown men in tights slapping each others asses funny...

#1. Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.
' Football is only a game.
Spiritual things are eternal.
Nevertheless, Beat Texas'

#2.' After you retire from football, there's only one big event left... and I ain't ready for that.' Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#3.' The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#4.' When you win, nothing hurts.' Joe Namath / Alabama

#5.' Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#6.' If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password,' Roll, tide, roll!' Bear Bryant / Alabama

#7.' A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' Frank Leahy / Notre more...

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw" A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot. Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. It is illegal to kill "any living creature". It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54 Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Arkansas MUST be pronounced "Arkansaw."
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

Bubba didn't know what the sign in the store window meant when he concocted an idea.
The sign said "Suits $5. 00 each, Shirts $2. 00 each, Trousers $2. 50 per pair".
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Ray, Look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to Arkansas, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best Texas drawl."
They go in and Bubba says, "I'll take 50 suits at $5. 00 each, 100 shirts at $2. 00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $2. 50 each. I'll back up my pickup and. ....."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Arkansas, aren't you?"
"Well... yes," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?"
The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners."