Arms Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her:
"Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?"
She looks around to make sure nobody's watching, leans down, and hugs him.
The man thinks, "Wow, I can't believe that worked!", and decides to try it again.
Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: "Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?"
She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.
The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him!
The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: " Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?"
The woman looks around to make sure more...

There's a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs sitting by a lake. Several beautiful women are running laps around it and the man decides to use his disability to get affection from one of them. The next time one runs by him, the man calls to her: "Excuse me Sweetheart, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you hug me?"She looks around to make sure nobody's watching, leans down, and hugs him.The man thinks, "Wow, I can't believe that worked!", and decides to try it again.Another woman runs by him, and he calls out to her: "Excuse me Darling, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you kiss me?"She looks around to make sure nobody is watching, leans down and gives him a kiss.The man is amazed at how well this is working out for him! The next time a woman runs by, he calls out to her: " Excuse me Beautiful, I have no arms and I have no legs. Will you f**k me?"The woman looks around to make sure nobody's watching her, leans down, picks the more...

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing. He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life."Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.""Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly..."My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
He thought to himself, "Life isn''t so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I''m not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly...
"My asshole itches, and I can''t scratch it!"

The Man with no Arms and Legs

There once was a lady who was tired of living
with men who were either physically abusive, who
ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed.
So she put an Ad in the paper, that was asking
for a man who:
1)would treat her nicely
2)wouldn't run away from her,
3)would be good in bed.
Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from
any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a
man alive who could live up to these expectations,
so she just gave up. But then, one day she heard
the doorbell rang. She answered it, and there on
the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who
didn't have any arms or legs. The man said "I'm
here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can
see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I
have no legs so I can't run away from you."
The woman replied, "Yes, but are you good in
bed?"
And the man said more...

A guy was walking along the beach admiring the beautiful sunset when he noticed a young lady laying in the sand, she had no arms and no legs and was crying.
He goes over and asked what was wrong. She said, "I am 21 years old, I have no legs and no arms and I have never been kissed".
So, he bends down and kisses her and she stops crying. He gets up to walk away and she starts to cry again.
Again, he asks her what is wrong.
She says, "I am 21 years old, I have no arms and no legs and I have never been screwed."
So, he goes over to her, picks her up and throws her in the water, and says - "there, now you're screwed"!

A guy was walking along the beach admiring the beautiful sunset when he noticed a young lady laying in the sand, she had no arms and no legs and was crying.He goes over and asked what was wrong. She said, "I am 21 years old, I have no legs and no arms and I have never been kissed".So, he bends down and kisses her and she stops crying. He gets up to walk away and she starts to cry again. Again, he asks her what is wrong.She says, "I am 21 years old, I have no arms and no legs and I have never been screwed."So, he goes over to her, picks her up and throws her in the water, and says - "there, now you're screwed"!