Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes

Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?
Alta Vista baby.

You find yourself casually standing in a cat stance. You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance. In church. You answer your boss Ussss. You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table. You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure the ends are exactly even. You accept change from the cashier using a perfect knife hand with the thumb carefully tucked in. Every time you handle a screwdriver or razor knife, etc., you just can't help changing grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip etc. And your shop help is standing cautiously far, far away from you. When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with all the neat weapons. The first word out of your parrot's mouth is KIAI! and you teach your cat how to free spar. You shut the refrigerator door with a side thrust kick. You shop for clothes based on whether you can kick in them. The more...

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger fractured his right femur while skiing with his family this weekend in Idho. Onlookers noted that the crying scene that followed was some of the most laughable acting they had ever seen.

I met a woman who lives in Hurricane, West Virginia. Nothing like naming your town after recurring natural disasters. Makes you wonder if there's a Flash Flood, Missouri or Schwarzenegger, California.

Governor Schwarzenegger says California should debate legalizing marijuana. Naturally Californians were way ahead of him and were already debating Dominos or Pizza Hut.