Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes / Recent Jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger broke his leg while skiing. Said the governor, "Pretty good, considering I'm only a Kennedy by marriage."

Governor Schwarzenegger says California should debate legalizing marijuana. Naturally Californians were way ahead of him and were already debating Dominos or Pizza Hut.

Thousands of hacky comedians mourned the loss of half their acts today. Luckily, Bill Clinton and Arnold Schwarzenegger are still alive.

Hack comics worldwide were in mourning at the news of Steve Irwin's death. A release from the hack comics union read "This is but a cog in the hack comic gear of life. We still have Pacino, Schwarzenegger and Walken impressions and if those fail I have one word for you "Lewinsky". We'll be fine."
Rumors abound that Crocodile Hunter wasn't killed but was trying to kill himself when he heard one too many open micers begin their set with "Can you imagine if the crocodile hunter was a gynocologist.....I think it would go something like this."

Groper-turned-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is sending the National Guard to the California border. The troops' duties will include patrolling the border and warning the governor if his wife Maria shows up.

"I`ll Turn Stingray From Dangerous Species to Endangered Species"

The burial will involve a small church service attended mostly by workers from the local Khaki Pants factory. Then Arnold Schwarzenegger will turn his minigun on the ocean for an hour and forty five minutes

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger fractured his right femur while skiing with his family this weekend in Idho. Onlookers noted that the crying scene that followed was some of the most laughable acting they had ever seen.