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Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.
Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.
Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...
How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?
The Answer is SEVEN:
(1) One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced,
(2) one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,
(3) one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,
(4) one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,
(5) one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,
(6) one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,
(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40, 000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40, 000 to be more...
A blonde proposed an indian for merriage. indian put three condition. 1. she has to cook 2. she has to arrange the room. 3. she has to clean the cloths. she nodded in yes. after a week of merriage indian withdraw the condition. because 1. she need a handsome cook. 2. with whome she can arrange the bed room before the husband comes and 3. she refuse to wear the cloths to release some workload....
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40, 000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40, 000 to be more...