Asian Jokes / Recent Jokes

You don't know what "Wushu" means When someone ask you what style you do you say:"kungfu" You don't do qi gong everyday You don't know Tajiquan is the most feared style in china You mixed Wushu moves you saw in Jet Li movies with your karate forms You go to some fake Shaolin school Your teacher claims to master at least 700 forms You don't train everyday You break dance You like Jet Li but do tae kwon do You think Wushu is a dance You don't know Taiji can kill people You rarely train, you listen to hip hop, and you like Wu Tang Clan You collect Jet Li movies and manga stuff You proudly wear cotton Chinese martial arts uniform with white buttons You teach karate.... and also Taiji You use the word Shaolin more than once a year You own a katana you bought in Chinatown and your proud of it You go to Asian parties You think your a good martial artist You read books about Buddhism too You went to a Zen meditation class once and never went back You think you don't need more...

A brief profile of men afflicted with "yellow fever" ORIGINS: Asiaphiles are typically found residing in major U. S. cities, although increasing numbers have been venturing overseas in their quest to "get an oree-enul woman". NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: Intelligent, non-racist and socially-functional men who are free of fetishes and racial bias. CHARACTER TRAITS: - Poorly developed masculine identities, pathetically uncomfortable with themselves, inept at romance with women of their own race. - Resentment of white females' assertive, strong-willed personality traits (whether real or perceived). - Ignorant and narrow-minded, eager to adopt fallacious western media stereotypes of Asian women. - Desperate need to assume a dominant, father-like role in their relationships with women (ergo the similarity to pedophiles). - Exaggerated perception and objectification of Asian females (and sometimes little boys). - Uncanny ability to determine one's breast size and country of more...

It was a hot day and a Hollywood star told a visiting Asian actor he knew of a secluded place where they can go skinny dipping.While they were enjoying the cool water, a busload of women suddenly appeared. Both men made a beeline for their towels. The Hollywood star wrapped his towel around his waist, while the Asian actor wrapped his towel around his head. There was a great deal of laughter coming from the women. They were hysterical.Afterwards, when there was only the two of them, the Hollywood star asked his guest why he wrap his towel around his head, instead of around his waist and he replied, "Where I come from we identify with our faces".

a blond, asian, and european are being chased by the police.
they find 3 stacks of hay by a barn so hey each hide in one.
the police comes and sees the three hay stacks.
they think at least one is in there so they kick the first hay stack that has the asian.
Meow meow she says. so the police thinks its a cat.
they kick the second one that has the european. Woof woof she says. so the police thinks shes a dog.
they kick the third with the blond and she says potato potato

How courteous is the Japanese;

He always says, "Excuse it, please."

He climbs into his neighbor's garden.

And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon;"

He bows and grins a friendly grin,

And calls his hungry family in;

He grins, and bows a friendly bow;

"So sorry, this my garden now."

You don't live in Montreal (Ville St-Laurent, Brossard, etc.). You tell your girlfriend that you buy Import Tuner for the cars. You shovel the snow at the last minute to make it to a party. For some reason, you always ask girls out to movies on Tuesday. You lose your friends at parties because everybody dresses the same. You take ages to finish a game at the 1. 00$ pool tables. You rack, break, re-rack when it's 8$ / hour pool. You carry an over-sized purse across your chest. You believe that Apex stands for Asian Pride Exhibitionism. You use the Concordia Library to scope out Asian chicks, even if you don't go to school. You run down to Daniel Amusement as soon as class ends to play silly arcade games. Your summer car is a lowered, tricked-out, nitrous oxide enhanced Integra/Civic/Accord/Prelude/CRX. Your winter car is a used shit box from the mid 80's that's held together with duct tape. You never notice spelling errors on party flyers. You think being a flyer boy definitely makes more...

IF YOU'RE A GUY: You arrive to the party with a group of 10 or more other guys (in Honda's of course!). You are wearing a plaid or flannel shirt w/ a pair of jeans, Doc Martin's, and a white shirt underneath. The line at the door is short with mostly guys (90% guys/10% girls). You don't mind if any girl cuts in front of you even they are ugly. If a guy cuts, you want to start a fight. You hair contains two bottles of mousse, one tube of gel, and one can of hair spray in case one strand gets out of place. You are either bald or you have a 2-hour old fade. Your pants are sagging, a pager is always in the right front pocket snapped on backwards, and your car alarm remote is hanging out in the left front pocket. You stare at every girl at the party, but never approach any of them. You hope the girl you've been looking at, knows one of your friends and then you will say "HOOK ME UP!" Gets a woody if a cute girl happens to look at you and smile. As you come into the party, you say more...