Ask Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
See if they can do it again.
2. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
3. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
4. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
5. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
6. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me,
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it more...

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunettes tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blondes tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get
messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape
Town is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the
stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is in Africa." Her response... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried more...

"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of incrementweather."

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."

"Bitch set me up."

"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."

"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"

"People have criticized me more...

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth

The seven dwarfs woke up one day and they were all excited because they got to go see the Pope that day.

So they got to the Vatican and pushed Dopey up to the pope and said, "Ask him, ask him!" Dopey asked, "Pope, are there any nuns in Alaska?" and the Pope said, "Ya there are some nuns there!" but Bashful stood and said, "No, ask him the real question!"

So Dopey asked the Pope, "Are there any black nuns in Alaska?" And the Pope said, "Yes, there are some black nuns in Alaska!" but Doc jumped up and said, "Ask him the real question before you get 6 ass whoopings!"

So Dopey asked the Pope, "Are there any black, midget nuns in Alaska?" and the Pope thought, and the Pope thought, and he said, "No, Dopey I'm sorry there aren't!"

Dopey turned the other way looking very disappointed to see the other 6 dwarfs dancing and singing childishly saying, "Dopey more...