Aspect Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys were discussing their wives over drinks.
"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" one asked.
"No... not exactly," replied his friend. "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."
"Oh, I get it. Kind of kinky, huh?" asked the first guy.
"No... not exactly," his friend replied. "It's more like... I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead!"

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. BEING NAKED: Very few female bodies are good to look it so please make an effort to cover up as much as possible with exotic lingerie. Match the outfit to suit your bod. If you've got a half-decent arse but no tits for example, wear stockings and suspenders and cover your meagre mammaries with something silky.

3. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it!

4. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least more...