Delicious Jokes

Once upon a time there was a chicken. This chicken was very fat and made lots of noise. One day this chicken made so much noise that a farmer came and cut the chicken's head off. Although most chickens would run around once their head was cut off, this chicken would not. Instead, it dropped dead. The end.
Once upon a time a computer dude named Eric went to the store to buy some food. Little did he know that when he went to get the chicken for his stir fry, the chicken he actually got was the hero/victim in the previous story. When the chicken had hit the ground, it had picked up a disease. The flesh eating bacteria that caused you to rot away in agony in less than 24 hours. Although young David's life was about to end, he would be remembered for a long time as the first one to contract the "David" virus. As David cooked the diseased poultry, little did he know, that the chicken was diseased in the first place. As he cooked it, it did not destroy the virus. He ate it more...

A man has been vacationing in Spain for a week. Due to leave the following day, he realizes that he hasn't tried the food yet.
He enters a restaurant and sit down at a table. Looking around, he notices what the man sitting at the next table has to eat and decides it looks quite tasty.
When the waiter comes to take his order, he tells the waiter he would like the same thing the other man has. The waiter apologizes and tells the man that they don't have any left. The man then asks the waiter what the meal is.
"That is the testicles from the bull that lost the bullfight this morning," the waiter explains. "If you come back tomorrow, I will save the same meal for you."
Prior to leaving Spain the following day, the man returns to the restaurant and the waiter has his meal prepared for him when he arrives. He eats his meal and while he does think it's delicious, he's confused about one thing. He calls the waiter over and says, "That was delicious, more...

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be.

The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious pieces of gigantic steaks.

To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen.

"Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, steak. Today, though, when I have my friends invited, you serve small miniature steaks! What is the meaning of this?"

"Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."

A guy told a group of his friends about the fantastic steak he had eating in a downtown restaurant the day before. They all decided to head down to the restaurant to see if it was really as great as he was making it out to be.
The group entered the restaurant and were seated at a table in the back section. After looking over the menu, they ordered and anxiously awaited their delicious, gigantic steaks.
To their collective disappointment, the waitress brought them the smallest steaks they had ever seen.
Embarrassed, the guy called the waitress over and said, "Now listen here! Yesterday I came in here and you brought me the biggest, juiciest, most delicious steak I have ever had. Today, when I have all my friends here, you serve us these miniature steaks. What is the meaning of this?"
"Yesterday, sir, you were sitting by the window!" replied the waitress.

If Dear Abby Was A Man... Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful. A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour. Q: My more...