Asshole Jokes / Recent Jokes
a kid and his grampa were fishing and the grampa lit up a cigarette and the boy said can i have one the grampa said can u touch ur dick to your assholle and the boy said no
well an hour goes bye and the grampa grabs a beer and the boy says can i have one and the grampa says can you touch your dick to your asshole and the boy says no
another hour goes by and the boy has some cookies and the grampa says can i have one and the boy says can u touch your dick to your asshole and the grampa says proudly yes i can and and the boy says go fuck yourself these are my cookies
What does a woman do to her asshole in the morning? -Sends him to work.
Q. What's the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back?
A. A police horse.
there are three guys going to prison for 100 years.the judge says that if they can get 50 kids from a highschool to write down that they wont do anything bad like what the three men had done.
the first guy couldnt get anyone to sign.
the second one got 2 or 3 to sign
the third went and came back andsaid with confidence "i got all them fuckers to sign"
and the judge said how did you do that?
well i said o this is your asshole before you go to prison-0 this is your ass hole when you get out
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.
Little Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms. His dad said," Well, Johnny, can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny said, "No!!"
Johnny's dad said, "Well, there's your answer."
Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios. His dad, again, said, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny said, "No!!"
His dad said, "Well, there's your answer."
At the end of the shopping trip, Johnny's dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket. Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!!
His dad said, "Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man?"
Johnny asked, " Dad, can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny's dad said, more...
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral more...