"Fishing with grampa" joke
a kid and his grampa were fishing and the grampa lit up a cigarette and the boy said can i have one the grampa said can u touch ur dick to your assholle and the boy said no
well an hour goes bye and the grampa grabs a beer and the boy says can i have one and the grampa says can you touch your dick to your asshole and the boy says no
another hour goes by and the boy has some cookies and the grampa says can i have one and the boy says can u touch your dick to your asshole and the grampa says proudly yes i can and and the boy says go fuck yourself these are my cookies
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...