Assignment Jokes / Recent Jokes
Teaching The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day.
It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard.
Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"
"I just saw one of your garters!"
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"
The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.
Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"
"I just saw both of your garters!" Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"
Embarrassed and frustrated, more...
Leroy was a 17 year old ninth grader. Leroy got this homework assignment
in his Ebonics class. All he had to do was use each of the following words
in a sentence. The following is how he completed the assignment.
Rectum: I had two Caddilacs but my ol lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my woman da crabs and da hotel evabody.
Odyssey: I told my bro, man, you odyssey da tits on da hoe.
Stain: My muda-in-law axed me if I'm stain for dinna agin.
Seldom: My cousin give me tickets to da Warriors game so I seldom.
Penis: I went to da docta an he hanned me a cup and said penis.
Foreclose: If I pay alimony dis munf, I'd have no muny foreclose.
Undermine: Dare's a fine lookin hoe livin in da partmunt undermine.
Disappointment: My parole offcer tel me if I miss disappointment he
gonna kill me
Tripoli: I was gonne buy my ol lady a bra but I coudnt find no
Tripoli
Income: I just got in bed wit dis hoe and income my wife
Honor: At da rape trial more...
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?" "I just saw one of your garters!" "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!" The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?" "I just saw both of your garters!"
Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!" Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. more...
The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They weredown to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one couldget the position. As a final test each recruit was led down ahallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the firstman, "We need to know that you will do whatever we sayregardless of the circumstances. Take this gun, go into thisroom and kill your wife". A look of shock comes over the man'sface. He says, "I can't kill my wife. I just can't do it. Iguess I'm not the man for this job". "No, you're not", agreethe agents, "You're free to go". They bring the second man to the door and say, "We need to knowthat you will do whatever we say regardless of the circumstances. Take this gun, go into this room and kill your wife". The mantakes the gun and goes into the room. The room is silent andafter five minutes the man opens the door, tears streaming downhis face. "I tried," he says, "but I just more...
A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.
His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."
Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.
After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"
"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1...".
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?" "Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy?" "Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters." Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - "I don't want to see you for three weeks!"Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around more...