Homework Jokes

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas?
His wife!

What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale?
You can’t keep a good man down!

Who designed Noah’s ark?
An ark-itect!

When did Caesar reign?
I didn’t know he reigned. Of course he did, didn’t they hail him?
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

In English class, the teacher gave the class homework, using the words Chicken, Nut and Bread in a sentence. The next day, the teacher ask if anyone would like to read aloud their sentence. Pablo raised his hand and said "I will". He stood up proudly and read out loud his sentence. "My fader told me, not to put the plastic bag ober your sisters head, because Chicken canNut Bread". Another variation:
(Submitted via email by Roxychikxx) There were three students: one Japanese, Haole, and Filipino. The teacher asked the students to use the words, "chicken, nut, and bread" in a sentence. The Japanese girl went first. "Last night for dinner my mother cooked us chicken and yummy banana nut bread". "That's good", the teacher replied. Next went the haole boy, "I live on a farm and we raise chickens, and grow nuts to put them into our bread". After that, the teacher asked the Filipino boy to use the words in a sentence. The more...

A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

· Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren`t the best teacher in the school · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had · Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it · I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that?
I didn`t take algebra! · nb