Ideal Jokes

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of BlessingtonI've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass DaleyI'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord DewarI've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? - Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis DillerIt destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it's got everything. Sand for more...

Women's Lifestyles Through the AgesAGE... DRINK17... Winecoolers25... White wine35... Red wine48... Dom Perignon66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaserEXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES17... Need to wash my hair25... Need to wash and condition my hair 35... Need to color my hair48... Need to have Francois color my hair66... Need to have Francois color my wigFAVORITE SPORT17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingFAVORITE DRUG17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE17... "Burger King"25... "Free meal"35... "A diamond"48... "A bigger diamond"66... "Home Alone"FAVORITE FANTASY17... tall, dark and handsome25... tall, dark and handsome with money35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48... a man with hair66... a manHOUSE PET17... Muffy the cat25... Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat35... Irish setter and Muffy the Cat48... Children from his more...

Age WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17 17 25 25 35 35 48 48 66 66

Age IDEAL DATE 17 He offers to pay 25 He pays 35 He cooks breakfast the next morning 48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids 66 He can chew breakfast