Athletes Jokes

The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.

Time Limit: 3 Days.

Write Your Name: ________________________________________
(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).

1. What language is spoken in Germany?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to

____ (a) build a bridge
____ (b) lead an army or
____ (c) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
____ (a) Jewish
____ (b) Catholic
____ (c) Hindu
____ (d) Polish

5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0. 0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far more...

Q: What is the best xmas present in the world?
A: broken drum You cant beat it!

Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A: Deep and crisp and even!!

Q: How do you make opening your christmas presents last longer?
A: Open them with boxing gloves on!

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It is Christmas, Eve!

Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
A: The letter D!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
A: Because your teeth chatter.

Q: Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?
A: Because there is not mushroom.

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: mince spy!

Q: What did Cinderella sing when her photographs weren't ready?
A: Some day my prints will come.. . . .

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts"!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's to far to walk.

Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

A new survey has found that 69.1 percent of all professional athletes live a luxurious lifestyle. The other 30.9 percent are in prison.