Auctioneer Jokes / Recent Jokes

A PARROT was up for sale at an auction. The bidding proceeded briskly, and before long a winner was announced. When he paid, the high bidder asked the auctioneer if the parrot could speak.
"Sure can," replied the auctioneer. "It was the parrot that was bidding against you."

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placeda winning bid told the auctioneer, "I'm paying a fortunefor that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say hedoes." "I guarantee it, madam," replied the auctioneer. "Who doyou think was bidding against you?"

At the auction, the man's eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding. Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird.
As he was paying the Auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, "I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I'm paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can't."
"Talk? Don't you worry sir, he can talk," replied the Auctioneer. "Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

In the local club a long argument had been going on about whether or not women should be allowed to do men's jobs.
"Mine is a profession that women can't take up," said the auctioneer.
"A woman would make quite as good an auctioneer as a man," said a strongminded woman.
"How can you imagine an unmarried woman standing up before a crowd and saying,' Now, gentlemen -all I want is an offer!'"

During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placeda winning bid told the auctioneer, "I'm paying a fortunefor that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say hedoes.""I guarantee it, madam," replied the auctioneer. "Who doyou think was bidding against you?"