Audi Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become -Hale Mary Fuller Grace.Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -Polly-Warner-Cracker.3M and Goodyear merge to become -MMMGood.John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become -Deere Abi.Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become -Zip Audi Do Da.Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become -Honey I'm Home.Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become -Mine All Mine.Federal Express and UPS merge to become -FED UP.Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become - Fairwell Honeychild.3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become-3 Penney Opera.Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become- Knott NOW!

In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.

3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.

John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.

Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.

Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine, All Mine.

Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women merge to become Knott NOW.

Mergers that may or may not make the world a funnier place:

There was a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity known as:' Hale Mary Fuller Grace.'

Don't forget the failed merger between Yahoo and Netscape....Net'n'yahoo.... (say it out loud) A great number of years ago there was a proposed merger between Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers. Rumor had it that the new company would be called. ... Fairwell Honeychild.

It was announced that Wurlitzer is merging with Xerox. They are going to market. .. reproductive organs.

There is a merger in the works involving Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler. It will be called. .. Poly-Warner-Cracker.

Other Merger's we'd like to see:

3M & Goodyear.......................... mmmGood
John Deere & more...

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: "Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro." "What do you mean it's illegal?" asked the Englishmen. "Quattro means four," replies the Italian official. "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen says disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons." "You can'ta pulla thata one ona me," replies the Italian customs agent."Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakin'a the law". The Englishmen reply angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" "Sorry," responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come"."He's a busy with two guys in a Uno".

On the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.
3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.
John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I'm Home.
Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine, All Mine.
Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization for Women merge to become Knott NOW.

There appears to be no end to merger mania - one of the greatest threats to our freedom and democracy - putting more and more control into the hands of fewer and fewer people.
The following are more Mergers that appear to be on the horizon:
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil
- Honey, I'm Home
Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining
- Mine, All Mine
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining
- Zip Audi Do-Da
Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women
- Knott NOW!
John Deere and Abitibi-Price
- Deere Abi
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers
- Fairwell Honeychild
3M and Goodyear
- mmmGood
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants
- Poupon Pants
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush Co., and W.R. Grace Co.
- Hale Mary Fuller Grace
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler
- Poly-Warner-Cracker

It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was considering buying the Fuller Brush Co. along with Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with the Hale Business Systems. This mega-corporate entity could be known as Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Failed merger: Yahooand Netscape. Net 'n Yahoo didn't work out because they would have to relocate theheadquarters located in Tel Aviv. Proposed merger: Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers, to be called Fairwell Honeychild. Rumored merger: Wurlitzer with Xerox. They are going to market reproductive organs. Possible merger: Warner Brothers, Polygraph Records and Keebler - to be called...Poly-Warner-Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merger: mmmGood John Deere andAbitibi-Price: Deere Abi Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco and Dakota Mining: Dip Audi Do Da Swissair andCheseborough-Ponds: Swisschese Honeywell, Imasco and HomeOil: Honey, I'm Home Luvs Diapers and HertzRent-a-Car: Luv Herts Upjohn and Chuckie CheesePizza: UpChuck White Castle Burgers andGlad more...