Merger Jokes

Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The new company's gonna be called FedUp!

We wish to repeat an interesting business rumor.
If this one pans out, remember that you saw it
here first.
It is widely rumored today on the internet
that United Parcel Service and Federal
Express have begun preliminary discussions
regarding a potential merger.
The new company will be called: FedUp.

This just in from News Service.

A MAJOR MERGER IS ANNOUNCED

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was
announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.

An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300
years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire. While details were not
available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve
days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both
organizations. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy
consistently high-quality service during the Twenty Days of Christmukah, as the
new holiday is being called. Massive layoffs are expected, with lords
a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.

As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl,
currently in Hebrew, will be more...

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl more...

This just in from News Service: A MAJOR MERGER IS ANNOUNCED
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge.
An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the rise of the Muslim Empire. While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Chanukah was becoming prohibitive for both organizations. By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Twenty Days of Christmukah, as the new holiday is being called. Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking being the hardest hit.
As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience. Also, instead more...