Warner Jokes

"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981 "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what. .. is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "This' telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The more...

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." - Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" - David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." - A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" - H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." - Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The more...

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently
of no value to us."
-Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of
science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
-Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, 1981
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked
with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is
a fad that won't last out the year."
-The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall,
1957
"But what... is it good for?"
-Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no more...

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J. C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da

Due to the merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes:
Time Magazine's next "Man Of The Year" issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner. This of course will strictly be a coincidence.
The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner Bros. cartoons. Now, Elmer Fudd will say, "You cwazy wabbit, you've been onwine for 5 minutes and that's way-y-y too long... we're going to boot you off!"
The next time that you hear Bugs Bunny say, "Eh, what's up Doc?" he will be referring to your monthly AOL subscription charge.