Auditor Jokes / Recent Jokes
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with an IRS tax auditor who was reviewing the man's records.
At one point, the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Johnston, we feel it is a great privilege to be permitted to live and work in the United States. As a citizen, you are obliged to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," replied Mr. Johnston, grinning ear to ear. "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldnt prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss. After a few months of this the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On a n impulse the auditor went up to him and said, "Look, Ive left the company, Im not more...
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.
At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn`t know you had, in a way you don`t understand.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.
Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he`s talking to you instead of his own.
Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
There are just three types of accountants:
Those who can count and those who can`t.
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that`s what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don`t?
A: Depreciation.
Q: What is the difference more...
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.
At one point the auditor exclaimed, “Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile. ”
“Thank goodness, ” returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash. ”