"Question and answer" joke

Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn`t know you had, in a way you don`t understand.

Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.

Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he`s talking to you instead of his own.

Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

There are just three types of accountants:
Those who can count and those who can`t.

Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that`s what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don`t?
A: Depreciation.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?
A: The accountant knows he is boring.

Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two accountants were arguing over a penny.

Q: What`s an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn`t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

Q: What`s the definition of a good tax accountant?
A: Someone who has a loophole named after him.

Q: What`s an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he`s/she`s talking to you instead of his/her own.

Accountants don`t die, they just lose their balance.

Q: What`s an accountant`s idea of trashing his/her hotel room?
A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

Q: What`s a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that`s why he`s/she`s retiring.

Q: What`s an actuary?
A: An accountant without the sense of humor.

Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.

Q: What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
A: Invite an accountant.

Q: What is GAAP (generally accepted accounting principles)?
A: The difference between accounting theory and practice.