Babies Jokes / Recent Jokes
One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother,
and announced that she had learned where babies come from at
school that day. Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie?
Why don't you tell me all about it?"
The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the mommy and daddy
take off all of their clothes, and the daddy's thing sort of
stands up, and the mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it
sort of explodes, and that's where babies come from."
Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye,
and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where
babies come from. That's where jewelry comes from."
A man was carrying two babies, one in each arm, while waiting for a train. Along came this woman seeing the two cute babies started asking the man,' 'Aren't they cute, what are their names?'' The man gave the lady an angry look and replied,' 'I don't know.'' The lady asked again,' 'Which is the boy and which is the girl?'' The man looking angrier than before replied,' 'I don't know.'' The woman then started to scold the man,' 'What kind of a father are you?'' The man replied,' 'I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are two complaints that I am taking back to my company.''
Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car?
I don't have a car in my garage!
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,"Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No", said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to hisfriends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"
A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn't there, and she doesn't want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital insists that the babies must be named by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louie overhears this and he names them (unbeknownst to the couple). Later the husband arrives, and the happy couple are set to name the babies when a nurse informs them that Uncle Louie already took care of that. "Oh no!" they cry. "He's crazy and doesn't know what he's doing. What names did he pick?" The nurse says, "Well, he named the girl Deniece." "Whew, not bad. In fact, that's nice. And how about the boy?" "Denephew."