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John
Kerry meets with the Queen of England. He asks her,
"Your Majesty,
how do you run such an efficient government? Are there
any tips you can give
to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important
thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Kerry frowns. "But how do I know the people around
me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy.
You just ask them to
answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes
a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiles, "Answer me this, please, Tony.
Your mother and father have a child. It is not your
brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That
would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says more...

CIA Test
Three guys are applying for job with the CIA. They got all the way to the final test.
So the first guy walks into the directors office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. Lays it on his desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head." The guy looks at him and says,"no way." So the director says, "You fail."
The next guy comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy picks up the gun and head for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that he just couldn't go through with it. The director says, "you fail."
So now the third guy comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room. The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all more...

A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so amusing, Derrick?"
"I just saw one of your garters," Derrick explained. "Leave my classroom and don't return for three days!" the teacher yelled.
Turning back to the chalkboard, she continued writing high up on the board when there was an even louder giggle from another boy in the class. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so funny, Sam?"
Giggling, Sam said, "Well, I just saw both of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," the teacher yelled. "I don't want to see you back here for three weeks!"
When she turned around to the chalkboard again, she was so frustrated and embarrassed that she dropped the eraser. Bending over to pick it up, she suddenly heard a more...

This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

Ok there were three girls a blonde, burnet, and a red head.They all escaped from jail.Finnaly the police caught them.The police had all of them cornered on a wall.The policeman says ready aim and the burnet says volcano, all the policeman looked back and she got away.Once again the policeman says ready aim and the red head says earthquake all the policeman look back and she gets away, the policeman one more time says ready aim and the blonde says fire!!!

A blonde walks into a circuit store. She goes to the back and asks the clerk "Can I have this T.V.?" He said "No." "Why not?" asked the blonde. "Because your a dumb blonde."
She comes back the next day with a new hair color. She again asked the same clerk if she could have that same T.V.. He again said no. When she asked why he responded "Because that's not a T.V., that is a microwave.

Share Critical Information Pertaining to Credit and Risk
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
"Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the more...