Backup Jokes / Recent Jokes

While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.
Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P.E.N.C.I.L.).
This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use, the (P.E.N.C.I.L.) will require preparation and testing. Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device;and a supply of computer paper (with or without holes).
Gripping the more...

Things You Don't Want Your Sysadmin To Say1. Uh-oh...2. Oh S***! 3. What the heck?!? 4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)5. That's SOOOOO bizarre.6. Wow! Look at this...7. Hey! The Suns don't do this.8. Terminated?!? 9. What software license?!? 10. Well, it's doing SOMETHING...11. Wow...that seemed fast...12. I got a better job at Lockheed...13. Management says...14. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.15. What do you mean that wasn't a copy? 16. It didn't do that a minute ago...17. Where's the GUI on this thing? 18. Damn, and I just bought that Coke...19. Where's the DIR command? 20. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.22. What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press? 23. Do you smell something? 24. What's that grinding sound? 25. I have never seen it do THAT before...26. I don't think it should be doing that...27. I remember the last time I saw it more...

While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.

Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P. E. N. C. I. L.).

This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use, the (P. E. N. C. I. L.) will require preparation and testing. Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without more...

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern. Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick. Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro. Cache - Needed when you go to da store. Chip - Yer cusin's uncle's mother's boyfriend's name. Terminal - Time to call da undertaker. Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited. Digital - The art of counting on your fingers. Diskette - A female Disco dancer. Hacker - Uncle Leroy after thirty years of smoking. Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos. Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair. Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere. Mac - Big Bob's favorite fast food. Megahertz - How your head feels after seventeen beers. Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall. Mouse pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live. Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line. Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test. Rom - more...

On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me
A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Three French users (who, of course, think they know everything)
Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all over the net)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over and over)
Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over trivial things?)
Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones they are?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a pointer error?)
On the fifth more...