Backwards Jokes / Recent Jokes

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If you lick the air, does it get wet?

A solution to all of your drinking troublesSymptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; beer unusually pale and clear.Fault: Glass is empty.Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.Symptom: Feet cold and wet.Fault: Glass being held at incorrect angle.Solution: Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.Symptom: Feet warm and wet.Fault: Loss of self-control.Solution: Go and stand beside nearest dog - After a while complain to its owner about its lack of house training.Symptom: Bar blurred.Fault: You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.Solution: Find someone who will buy you another pint.Symptom: Bar swaying.Fault: Air turbulence unusually high - maybe due to darts more...

Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

What happens if a woman puts her panties on backwards?
She gets her ass chewed out.

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.

Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.

The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!

So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

What is a country song played backwards?

Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car
starts, you get your job back and life is great.

What happens when a girl puts her panties on backwards?
She gets her ass chewed out.