Bad Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes
' Why are you crying, Ted? ' asked his mum.
' Because my new sneakers hurt.'
' That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.'
' But they are the only feet I have.'
One day on a train, there were two small boys and a middle aged. She sat reading her book but couldn't help overhearing the two small boys having a deep heated discussion on the subject of spelling. "It would be spelt' W-W-W-W-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-B-B-B-B',"
the first boy argued. "No its not!
It's spelt' W-W-W-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-B-B-B'," retorted the other. The lady leaned over unable to keep to herself and said, "Excuse me boys, but I think you'll find the word is spelled' W-O-M-B'." The first little boy looked at the other, and then back at the lady, and replied, "Ya know lady, I bet you've never even seen a hippopotamus, let alone ever heard one fart underwater!"
When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse, writing something.' What on earth are you doing there? ' he asked.
' Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm here and that's why Susie's sitting in the goldfish bowl! '
Teacher: Who was that on the phone, Sammy?
Sammy: No one important, Miss Smith. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already!
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, " See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".
The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.
She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".
The little boy angrily points to his bike and says," Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"
She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike.
The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says," Look, only boys have these and your mom can't more...
What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?
One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!