Bad Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes

' Now remember boys and girls,' said the science teacher.' You can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year.'
Alec went home for dinner and found they were having a jelly roll for dessert.
' I'm not eating that, Mum,' he said,' It's five years old!'

Little Johnny was out on Halloween, trick-or-treating; dressed as "Rocky", complete with boxing gloves and satin shorts. He walked up to Mr. and Mrs. Foggybottom's door and rang the bell. Mrs. Foggybottom answered the door and Johnny said, "Trick or Treat!" Mrs. Foggybottom gave Johnny some candy and closed the door. Soon afterwards the bell rang again. It Little Johnny once more. "Aren't you the same' Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" asked Mrs. Foggybottom. "Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight, too."

Once there was a little boy who was curious about what a strip club was like so one day he decided to sneak into one. Once he was in, he watched as the strippers danced. He watched until they started taking of their clothing. That's when he bolted out the door and started running down the street and into a man. The man asks the boy, "What's wrong young man? You look like you just saw a ghost!". The little boy replies, "My mommy and daddy told me that if I ever watched anybody undress, I'd turn to stone... and all of a sudden I felt something hard!".

' William,' shouted his mum.' There were two pieces of cake in the pantry last night and now there's only one. How do you explain that? '
' It was dark in the pantry, mum,' explained William,' and I didn't see the other piece!'

A little boy came home from his first day at kindergarten and said to his mother,' What's the use of going to school? I can't read, I can't write, and the teacher won't let me talk.'

Little Johnny and Susie were only 10 years old, but they just knew that they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Susie's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walked up to him and said "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replied, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replied "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith said with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie." Again, Johnny instantly replied, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that'll do us just fine." By this time Mr. more...

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys.
The father replied, " Sure, do that before I kill them!" The mother went to the priest and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest. The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing. Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy more...