Bad Kid Jokes / Recent Jokes

A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for he and his wife the night of his return. He sent the two older children to the movies, but no matter how he tried, could not persuade Little Johnnie to go along with them... Finally he made a deal with the boy. "I'll give you $5. 00 for every man you see go by in a red hat. You stand here and count them, OK?" Little Johnnie agreed with a hopeful smile on his face. A while later Little Johnnie came running into the house, banged on the bedroom door and shouted, "Hey Dad! If you think your getting screwed in there, you'd ain't seen nothin' yet! You'd better come outside here. There's a Shriner convention coming past!"

A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening, the boy called out sulkily,' Mum! your husband's just come home.'

Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A. So he could have sweet dreams.

First Boy: My brother said he'd tell me everything he knows.
Second Boy: He must have been speechless!

A little girl brings treats for the class on her 8 year old birthday. The teacher turns to the little girl and asks "So Kelly what do you want for your birthday this year? The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G. I. Joe." the teacher looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken." "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G. I. Joe. She just fakes it with Ken."

Jane: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days?
Wayne: No. Why?
Jane: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"
"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for dinner!"
"Really?"
Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom,' Turn out the light, I wanna eat it!'"